- News in Britain: Stamps have gone up 14 pence
- News in Canada: Moose on the loose downtown
- News in America: Cannibal eats man's face
- Britain: wat.
- News in America: Man throws intestines at police
- Britain: wat
- News in America: Man eats roommate's heart and brain
- News in Canada: Porn star murders lover and mails body parts to government headquarters.
- Britain: Shit Canada.
- America: You fucked up.
